If you’re like me, you haven’t really been able to do much of anything the last six months other than obsessively scroll through twitter and the news. Just stare at a screen, scared and angry. At turns worried and embarrassed.
You may be feeling like it’s really hard to find joy anywhere, when it feels like the country is falling apart. When you realize how broken the country really is and that you were willfully ignorant for a long time. That the world can no longer trust us. And you’re so angry at the so-called leaders who are supposed to be looking out for the masses are only looking out for themselves and corporations.
Turns out, if you’re like me, you lay on the couch a lot and watch old tv shows in order to cope. You re-read books that you know have happy endings. Occasionally you go on long tirades to your significant other, venting your anger and eventually crying on their shoulder because you’re so scared. When you’re me, you think a lot about doing something creative but just can’t muster up the energy. You dabble in new hobbies, feel that adrenaline rush of learning something new and then, end up not caring a few weeks later.
You overspend, overeat and undersleep.
You wonder if this is just how it is now.
And yet, you see that people with your values haven’t given up. There are marches, petitions, town halls and court rulings. There are pussy hats, the ACLU and sanctuary cities that won’t back down. There are people punching Nazis, shouting down supremacists, and heroes on trains who stood up and unfortunately, pay a price for it.
But you also see joy is still out there. There are still great podcasts to listen to. New blogs to discover. Youtube series to watch. Walks in the sunshine. Farmer’s Markets. Friends who come a-visiting. If you’re me, you might learn how to cook more than 3 meals. Discover you actually do like peppers and onions! You plant a few plants in your apartment’s community garden and discover the snap pea seeds you shoved in the ground actually sprouted. Maybe you make Rice Krispies treats for the first time in years. Find out that you’re going to be an aunt to a baby boy.
Maybe, just maybe, you knit two rows on a project that has been languishing. Even if it’s 9:30pm and you spent 45 minutes looking for the needles. You sit in bed and feel the softness of the Malabrigo slid between your fingers, hear the soft clink of the needles, and quietly count your knits and purls and you think Ohhhh, that’s right…this is what calm feels like.
You decide that no one, especially that man, will steal your joy.